I think procrastination is a big part of my weight-loss problem. "I can start again tomorrow" is something I quote quite often.

That's not good; I've had over twenty years of "tomorrows." Today really is tomorrow for someone who has health issues because of weight.

Maybe that should be my new quote, "Today really is tomorrow."

It's going to be difficult to be "sugar-free" again. I wasn't successful yesterday.

Sometimes I think I need to go to a "shrink" to find out what's keeping me from breaking through this seemingly impossible predicament--losing weight. How long have I been trying! (Looking at it from that standpoint, it's not going to happen.)

God gives me an opportunity each day to trust Him. I am far from Him in this area.

I usually enjoy seeing Monday roll around; I like the mundane routine!

The weekend got a bit out of control, unfortunately. (Sugar!) There was finger food all around me at an award's reception (honoring my son and others), and each tasty morsel was beautifully displayed inviting each of us to spend time enjoying. I get caught up in the moment and forget about my need to get the extra weight off.

I'm a long way from where I had hoped to be when starting this journey to good health.

My mind is still on exercising. I'm thinking about walking part way home after work, having my husband pick me up at a designated spot (he takes me and picks me up from work).

If I get my walk in that way, I don't have to think about it when I get home. (Home is a mental and physical place of respite for me.) I am open to a walking companion, though. So, if God were to provide one for me in our neighborhood, I would jump at that opportunity.

Until then, I plan on walking "alone" with thoughts and praises to my Lord and Savior!

I have been trying to find a way to work an exercise program into my schedule. I enjoy walking, but.....

After being on my feet all day at work, it's hard for me to mentally muster up enthusiasm to go for a walk after I get home. During the five minute drive home, my body is already beginning to shut down for the day. Physically I still have 45 minutes left in me for that walk, but mentally my mind is whining, "I'm too tired!" And, being easily influenced by the flesh, I plop after work until bedtime.

I need an accountability partner to walk with. I've always spent time with the Lord during my walks, praying and lifting praise up to Him. I will leave it in His hands who (or Who) will be my walking companion.

It's interesting how the weather has such an affect on one's mood. Today is gloomy; I'm trying very hard not to do likewise!

I'm struggling with keeping my "eating with good health in mind" on the front burner. It takes energy to stay on guard, and in that area in particular for me. Wben I work at it with less than full participation, no weight is lost; and maintaining at this weight is the same as losing ground.

So far today I have a clean record, though; that's the good news. And so far today, I have no bad news!

Today is our anniversary. Thirty-six years ago, I was a bride of great expectations and dreams.

I look back and am glad I'm on this side of those "expectations and dreams." As one can imagine, there were many lows with that kind of thinking. Without realizing it, I was setting our marriage up to be one of disappointment.

Good intentions do not always lead to a good outcome. I'm thankful God opened my eyes up to learning the peace that acceptance brings.

It's Friday, and I'm so looking forward to the weekend, even as rainy as it is!

I find the area I keep falling down on is sugar. I bake all the desserts at work--that doesn't help. I know where all the desserts are at home--that doesn't help, either! The sugar-free gelatins are good; I need to do some plannng ahead.

It seems that (plannng ahead) is a key to most areas of life. Time/priorities are always the culprits that need to be checked and rechecked before bad habits creep back in, ever so quietly.

I'm looking forward to work today.

I bought a little gift for one of our cooks--just to brighten her day. We all need that from time to time, and God put her on my heart last night while shopping for new work shoes. Since she can't afford new shoes (and needs them worse than I do), I thought a gift certificate would be a "praise the Lord" for her.

I love how God works. I couldn't find any shoes that fit right, but that's not why He had me there!

While I've been waiting for my computer to jump through all its hoops, I've been thinking how I let all this extra weight come on in the first place. Didn't I see it coming--"a stitch in time saves nine?"

I know it's like crying over split milk, but I still feel I need to know. The heaviest I had ever been was 185--I was always trying to lose forty pounds. But something happened in 1986, besides having my fourth (and last!) baby. I suffered from postpartum depression for six months and put on 85 pounds. How could that happen?!

So now, twenty-one years later, I'm still working on taking off the "baby fat." It's time to move on.

In many ways challenges are good. I am certainly learning a new depth in staying focused.

Only good can come from my weight loss, so I know that is where my energy and focus needs to be centered in most of my decision-making. I could do alot better; my flesh still comes out on top too many times.

I know God delights in our victories over the flesh; I know He is wanting me to call upon Him for my every need.

What a whirlwind of a weekend; I'm looking forward to going back to work!

I have my meals planned for this week to stay on target a little better. This weekend I had too many carbs and feel miserable today (both physically and mentally). I finally tasted the coconut cake everyone has been raving about at church and found it wasn't what I had it imagined to be.

Isn't that just like the Lord! I pray He continues to disappoint me with food.

Friday is here at last; I need a break from the fast pace of work.

I will be working all weekend, however. It will be a relaxed agenda with as many coffee breaks as I want, though! I want to do a deep declutter on the perpetual piles of papers that grow faster than I can keep up. It's good for me to have a project; I need some place to put my attention to keep me from falling into old ways.

God patiently shows me His ways; "Great is Thy faithfulness!"

I like living in these thirty-minute parameters; it keeps me mindful of the quick demands of the flesh.

I have seen successes this week, (and flops); but it does help me realize how swiftly my focus can be taken off my all-important task of losing weight. I know there is a point of running out of time before diabetic damage is irreversible, and that's what my doctor is concerned about.

With God's help, all things are possible.

Each day is challenging; it takes staying on my toes to "guard against the flesh."

It can happen so easily. Before I knew it, I was enjoying a sweet treat that I had carelessly popped into my mouth. My eyes are opened to that bad habit I've nurtured so casually through the years.

I have a new day ahead of me. I hope I'm a little wiser to ways of the flesh.

I'm starting my day a little rushed--the last thing I remembered it was 4:45 a.m., the next thing I knew it was 6:15 a.m. That "mishap" set me behind half an hour!

Taking thirty minutes at a time yesterday seemed to really help. There were many times I wanted to pop a morsel into my mouth, then stopped. It helped me realize how often my flesh is prompting me. (Those morsels were not mealtime morsels but little snacks throughout the day--a lifelong bad habit of mine.)

I thank God every day for His Word; He has placed all of life's answers in that wonderful Book.

After my experience of not feeling well, I have a renewed desired to take better care of myself. I took two naps this weekend and went to bed earlier.

I need to focus on what my weight is doing to my general health, as well. I know my diabetes is not stabilized, and that alone should scare me into eating right. In my study of Obadiah, I am reminded of the constant warfare going on between the flesh and the spirit.

Why do I take it so casually when I allow the flesh to be the victor? I need to break my day down into thirty-minute increments, giving the spirit priority to strengthen my guard against the flesh.

I am under the weather today. I hope to get through one more day of work.

It's nothing contagious, so I'm not infecting anyone. I'm already wondering how I am going to lift the heavy Pineapple Upside Down Cake to and from the oven, though, (a large pan that serves seventy).

Home will be that much sweeter at the end of the day!

I've been mulling over a quote by Mother Theresa, "Kind words can be short, and easy to speak; but their echoes are truly endless." I like that reminder.

Being willful has many ramifications. My mother tried her best to bring that under control from a very tender age and on, but I still struggle with it today. To surrender the desire to something that is not beneficial makes such good sense--but why am I repeating the same mistakes?

God's Word tells us, "Make no provision for the flesh." That reminder needs to get etched into my daily walk.

Today will be another busy day at work as we get ready for the big brunch this weekend--800 frozen fruit cups are needed!

I am thankful God has provided me with a job that makes sense to me. I enjoy each day at work, loving what I do. Of course, my life is centered around food, so that can be a problem. (God always gives me a reason to lean on Him!)

"Oh, give thanks unto the Lord for He is good!" That verse always lifts me.

I overslept this morning; I hope this is not an indication on how my day is going to go!

I am finding ways to bring variety into my lunches at work. It seems that is my easiest meal for staying on task. I am still working on supper, (and thereafter!). I know brushing my teeth early in the evening helps; I usually don't eat after that.

I still boils down to how bad to I want to lose weight. I can always make excuses for myself; that's when I know my flesh is in control.